I101 reader Trevor commented on a recent post about the changes to the IDP:
As an intern in architecture at the moment, i've found that the most difficult thing for me is finding an architect to be my mentor (as opposed to my supervisor). Finding an architect from outside my office who's willing to spend time with me ever week or two is an awful imposition. It was hard enough finding someone who would take me on in exchange for 8 hours a day of work, but asking for help from outside the office is even harder.
I don't live very close to my University anymore either, so having a professor mentor me would be impractical. Do you have any suggestions for finding a mentor under the new guidelines?
My course of action has been to start a new blog over at http://fstoparch.blogspot.com as a sort of cover letter for myself.
This is a great question, Trevor, and one that all interns (and dare I say even architects) should consider: how do you find a good mentor, especially when the whole mentorship process seems like such a burden? First of all, let's consider the point of a mentor. A mentor can provide guidance and advice on matters small and large regarding your job and your career. Small things might be "I did this and my boss said that and I said this and I think I've messed up--what should I have done instead and what should I do now?" A large matter might be "should I change firms/go back to grad school/quit the profession?" A mentor, quite frankly, should also be something of a friend. Not a drinking buddy/loan you money to pay off a credit card/bail you out of jail friend (though you should totally have at least two of those, no joke), but someone who will speak with you honestly but kindly, someone who will listen to you patiently and ask questions without judging you, but also be willing to call you on your bullshit.
This would seem a tall order indeed, and yet...we all have many people around us who are willing to do this. Consider every friend you've ever had in your life or have now: did you walk up to them and say, "I'm looking for a good friend who will listen to my crap and laugh with me at Farrelly Brothers movies and make sure I get home after one too many Jager bombs. Can I interest you in such an arrangement with me?" Probably not--it just happened. So, the first thing to remember about mentorship is that it doesn't have to be necessarily formal. Some mentorship programs (often sponsored by colleges) have an essence of formality to them, and that's fine. However, asking someone formally to be your mentor might suddenly trigger in them a response of oh God now I have to add yet one more appointment to my planner and come up with something to talk about with this person I barely know and so on. Sometimes, first getting to know some architects, whether in your office or outside your firm, can smooth the way for a further, better, deeper mentorship relationship. (Interestingly, my recent survey of interns showed that a majority have an informal relationship with their mentor, and the majority also felt comfortable asking their mentor for advice on things other than work/professional stuff.)
Second, consider how often contact needs to take place. Maybe it's exchanging emails every couple of week and then actually meeting face to face once every month or every other month. Truth be told, I've had mentors that I've literally never seen--I've met them through my blog and I've never spoken to them in person or even on the phone. But they have provided me with immeasurable advice and insight, and frankly some kindness in there to boot. Contact in general would ideally be regular so that neither of you forgets about the other, which would kind of undo the whole point of mentorship anyway.
But the bigger question we have yet to discuss is why mentorship is such a burden, or at least seems that way. I think it's because mentorship has been seen as such a one-way street. It's often viewed through the lens of "here's a young kid just starting out, and now I've got to download my thrity years of exprience to him/her during what precious little free time I have." No wonder so many people say "no thanks" to the arrangement. Too bad--mentorship really is a two-way street. I can't tell you the number of times I've emailed, called, and talked/met with my interns, past and present to ask for their advice or ideas on everything from the best way to set up a website (including this blog) and how to best use Revit and even what's the best new music coming out these days. (This last one is especially important for someone who grew up listening to Paula Abdul and Huey Lewis and still thinks that Def Leppard is the best band in history. I'm sure there are some Killers/Muse/Conor Oberst fans out there begging to differ with me. Bring it.) Part of making your mentorship relationship work by starting out informally is that it can allow you to show your mentor(s) what you can do for them. I say that not in a business transaction-type of way, but in a friendship kind of way. If your friendships were a one-way exchange, you'd quit being friends with that person, right? Same thing applies here.
And yes, I did say "mentor(s)" just then. It might be that the best way to get good advice is to have more than one informal mentor. I have more than one mentor, and it serves two purposes: one, it lightens the load of any one person (see above about the "burden" of mentorship); and two, it gives me more viewpoints and allows me a little more data collecting before I make decisions. Remeber: everyone you deal with, work with, live with, interact with brings all of their mental illnesses to the table every day. If I have only one mentor and s/he has a real bug in his/her hair about, say, the AIA, and I ask him/her a question about doing some event for the AIA, I might get a really strong negative reaction to something that is actually a good idea.
Finding a good mentor (or multiple mentors) can be a challenge, but by relaxing the formality of the situation and thinking of it as a two-way interaction can help the process along. If nothing else, maybe you can convince a 35-year-old hair metal enthusiast to put Meaghan Smith and Li'l Wayne on her iPod.
Got a question you'd like to ask or a topic you'd like to see covered here? Got a band or musician I should be listening to instead of Warrant? Drop me a line in the comments or via email in the sidebar. Holla!